Most of my friends and readers know that I’m adopted.
Some have taken the time to read my various blogs about finding my biological mom (NOT a good ending, unfortunately) and finding my biological dad (well, at least he didn’t send his lawyer after me!). If you’ve stuck with me through these very personal stories, I thank you!
And if you read a copy of my recently published book, Caring for Mom and Other Loved Souls, I also thank you! And if you actually took the time to leave a review for the book, I applaud you for supporting a first-time book author. I know it might not be easy reading a memoir about a 93-year old’s end of life… especially someone you likely didn’t know. But it was a story I had to tell, about my “mom” (my adoptive mom who raised me and who I view as my true parent). And I’m more than thrilled that it is done and out there.
This past month my Uncle Joe passed away at the amazing age of 95. My father’s brother (again, I know it’s confusing, but I’m talking about my adoptive father, Ed, who raised me, and who I view as my real father). Here’s a photo of my Uncle Joe (from left to right), Aunt Helen and my parents, from my wedding in 1987.
My Uncle Joe’s death brought up a lot of memories about my father. Joe was my dad’s younger brother although Joe outlived my dad by 33 years. My dad passed away at the age of 68, decades ago. He was robbed of so many good years. My two sons never knew him, an enduring sadness for me.
But now…. finally… my passion project has been delivered! I’m sure my parents are up in heaven, smiling with pride!
Would love to hear your feedback!
Book description:
Most people will be a caregiver or care receiver in their lifetime. What will that experience look like for you?
Caring For Mom and Other Loved Souls tells of one daughter’s journey as a caregiver for her elderly mother, recounting both the “blessings” and the “stressings” that she, her husband, and two young sons encountered while caregiving in their home. Along with the author’s personal story, she has woven in over a dozen other caregivers’ insights, including those having lost their loved ones to Alzheimer’s disease.
It highlights the challenges—and many benefits—of multigenerational living (aka “sandwiched caregiving”), and discusses the importance of managing both caregiver stress and the seemingly endless feelings of caregiver guilt. The author does not shy away from the mistakes she made during her own caregiving journey—nor her need for help and support to cope with the loss of her mom as well as the loss of her longtime caregiving role.
While the book may leave a reader teary-eyed by its raw emotion (often presented via the actual journal entries and emails written at the time), it also shares the humor and lighthearted stories more typically found behind the public curtain of caregiving.
If you have been or currently are a caregiver you will likely relate to the author’s and “other loved souls’” journeys—and the book’s honest and heartfelt narrative should prompt you to laugh, cry, and reflect on your own precious caregiving moments.
And while everyone’s experiences will be different, the author found many common threads during her interviews with other caregivers. Those are represented and shared as caregiving “truths” and philosophies that will help guide anyone becoming a caregiver in the future. A few examples are: knowing and accepting that every caregiver will be faced with “unable to do” moments and the need to plan for those. Also, as a caregiver, adjusting your perspective to match the care receiver’s. So often as caregivers, people react to everyday situations based on their wants and needs, versus those of the person they are caring for.
Caring For Mom and Other Loved Souls is not a handbook for daily caregiving tasks. Instead, it provides the reader with helpful and inspirational guidance—and practical advice—centered on the mental and emotional struggles of caring for a loved one, losing them, and surviving their loss. It also underscores the importance of family and shines a light on what caregivers are truly capable of doing in the name of love.
Please help out a first-time author!
Order my book and if you feel so inclined, please leave a nice comment…would very much appreciate it.
I haven’t written for a while as my professional (aka: PAID) writing has taken off…yeh…so I’ve been too busy to do personal blogs…But, after a particularly long week of writing about others’ lives, I thought I should sit down with a glass of wine and tap into my inner self a bit…it has been too long…
I just went and watched my older son graduate from college. Truly a proud moment.
…took a lot of photos, hugged and kissed him, and then flew back home with the family. The younger son joined us, flew back with us and is staying with us for the summer. He’ll then return to college. When he moves out at the end of this summer, my husband and I will once again be in empty nest mode.
Thank God.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love my sons. But after the initial gut-wrenching sadness of having them both gone…and it truly was gut-wrenching, I have the therapy bill and prescriptions to prove it…well, after all of that, something happened.
Five years later, and the loss of my Mom still cuts me at my inner core…when I think about her being gone, my body clenches up, my gut hurts and my soul aches. I miss her so much. And the thought of my last week with her brings me back to a painful place.
Obsoleted Soccer Mom 