Category Archives: memories

Remembering Papa

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Most of my friends and readers know that I’m adopted.

Some have taken the time to read my various blogs about finding my biological mom (NOT a good ending, unfortunately) and finding my biological dad (well, at least he didn’t send his lawyer after me!). If you’ve stuck with me through these very personal stories, I thank you!

And if you read a copy of my recently published book, Caring for Mom and Other Loved Souls, I also thank you! And if you actually took the time to leave a review for the book, I applaud you for supporting a first-time book author. I know it might not be easy reading a memoir about a 93-year old’s end of life… especially someone you likely didn’t know. But it was a story I had to tell, about my “mom” (my adoptive mom who raised me and who I view as my true parent). And I’m more than thrilled that it is done and out there.

This past month my Uncle Joe passed away at the amazing age of 95. My father’s brother (again, I know it’s confusing, but I’m talking about my adoptive father, Ed, who raised me, and who I view as my real father). Here’s a photo of my Uncle Joe (from left to right), Aunt Helen and my parents, from my wedding in 1987.

My Uncle Joe’s death brought up a lot of memories about my father. Joe was my dad’s younger brother although Joe outlived my dad by 33 years. My dad passed away at the age of 68, decades ago. He was robbed of so many good years. My two sons never knew him, an enduring sadness for me.

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Confessions of a Memory Hoarder

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Along with routinely sharing a great deal of storytelling throughout my youth, my parents left me with many family photo albums and boxes of both our family and distant family memories (including letters, scrapbooks, military artifacts, and more). My mom even wrote a short autobiography in her later years, which is packed with her lifelong stories, and is such a treasure for me.

Throughout my life I have always been one to collect and preserve memories. Some people might even say I’m a “memory hoarder” and they would probably be right.

Ah, memories, and the stories behind them. They were important to my mom and they are important to me.

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Do Dinosaurs Use Address Books? Or Are They Both Obsolete?

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My “kids” often say I’m a technology dinosaur. But I’m a dinosaur in so many other ways as well.

Recently, when I reached for my spiral-bound, paper-based address book, I caught myself reflecting on the many cross-outs throughout the book—as well as the many entries needing to be crossed out!

spiral-bound address book showing many entries crossed out

Now keep in mind, my address book is at least 31 years old. How do I know that? Well, it contains my 31-year-old son’s original pediatrician’s phone number (the one who actually came and examined him at the hospital when he was born). A month later we ended up with a different pediatrician, so the original doctor’s name and info was soon crossed out. There’s still an arrow from that cross-out to the replacement pediatrician’s name and number. Of course, that doctor’s contact information, too, was crossed out long ago.

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The Kids Are Gone. Time To Downsize?

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My parents lived in their home long after my moving out. But when my father died, my mom did finally move out of my lifelong “home”.

At the time of my mom’s move we sorted through her and my dad’s life, getting rid of all the collected stuff of a lifetime. She moved away from long-time neighbors and nearby friends, from a 3 bedroom home to a small single bedroom apartment. I remember how emotional it was for her.

Now, I am sitting in my own home of some 23 years. My older son lives in an apartment a day’s drive away; my younger son still in college, but not really around much. My husband and I have a 4 bedroom home. It is a big house with a large yard.

My husband was the first to bring up the idea of downsizing. “We no longer need the space,” he said one day.  “If we downsize to a less expensive area we can retire early,” I heard over and over again.anniversary_window

Then, one day it seemingly started to make sense…

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Have Christmas Cards Become Obsoleted (Too)?

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This year, I once again spent a good deal of time writing a special verse for my family’s annual Christmas card. I also selected a number of recent photos of my college-age kids to share as part of the card. Sending Christmas cards is a tradition that my mom first exposed me to when I was very young; I routinely sent relatives a hand-written card…not expecting anything in return, just to connect with them and wish them well. My mom had thought it was particularly important as most of my relatives lived on the other side of the US from our family. I fear this tradition is coming to an end, however. As with many things in my life, I feel like I am plodding along in a dinosaur fashion by actually sending out physical cards. Have Christmas cards now become obsoleted, too? 

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(No More) Photo Album Memories?

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The other day I made a photo album as a gift for a special friend. She has been a friend of mine for over 30 years; we met as next-door college dorm neighbors. I had a lot of photos to choose from, many were taken pre-digital era, of course…so had I not had the photos I could have still dug out the negatives and made prints (well, assuming there are places in the world where you can still make prints from negatives, I suppose). I think about the young people today, with their total reliance on their smart phones for photos…what will they have when they get older and want to look back at their youth? Continue reading →